The Fluffy Unicorn Guide to Carb Loading

Why you shouldn’t blindly copy a plan, and why jam bagels aren’t always the vibe.

Carb loading: sounds simple, right? Eat more carbs = more energy. Sorted. Except, like most things in endurance training, the devil’s in the digestion — and not all stomachs are created equal.

I’ve now had two very different carb load experiences. One was an absolute dream - smooth, tasty, and had me feeling confident on race day. The other? A total shit-show. I spent race morning bloated, confused, and chewing on bagels like I’ve been on a weekend bender, wondering how the hell I got it so wrong. One plan had me cruising; the other had me sipping on regret and questioning why I ever thought a load of bagels and a litre of orange juice before 5:30am was a good idea.

LCW Wales – The Gold Standard

Plan: Simple. I ate my normal volume of food - but swapped out my normal food types for carb-rich choices.

Sian’s lasagne? Tick.

White rice and pasta? Tick.

Bagels, crumpets, jam, juice, Rice Krispies? Absolutely.

I didn’t get the scales out. I didn’t ram fistfuls of pasta down my throat like I was prepping for hibernation. I just started topping up about four days out with food that actually plays nice with my gut, then kept the tank full by casually sipping PF60 like it was squash at a kid’s birthday party. Kept it rolling on race day too - and you know what? I think it worked. Energy and mood was high, stomach was settled, carbs doing their job without tipping me into a carb-induced nap.

Porthcawl Tri – Fuelled by Regret

For this home event, I figured it was time to raise my carb game. After all, I’d nailed LCW, so obviously I’m a pro now, right? Wrong. I downloaded some “science-backed” carb load plan off the internet - big volumes, fancy charts, lots of promise. Only snag? My gut took one look and said, “nah, this is bollocks.” I felt heavy, sluggish, and by race morning I wasn’t me - I was a bloated, grumpy knock-off version. Not my usual happy-go-lucky self, spreading vibes of joy.

Did I hit my target time? Yes.

Did I enjoy the process? Nope.

Would I repeat it? Fuck no.

The Amateur Dilemma

Let’s be honest - none of us have a personal nutritionist hiding in the kitchen with a special board. We’re winging it. We read a blog here, watch a YouTuber there, maybe take advice from a mate who once read another blog, or from a mate-of-a-mate-of-a-mate who’s “done this” - and suddenly we’re “fuelled by science.” Guess what - half the time it’s bollocks, or at least not right for you.

That’s why race sims and those big training weekends are key. That’s when you test the carb load - not the week of your A race when it actually matters. Figure out the foods you want to eat, not the ones you’re forcing down just because some dick on the internet told you they’re “optimal.”

Key Takeaways

• Eat like you train: If you’re training consistently on a certain volume of food, don’t suddenly double it because some tool on the internet told you so.

• Practice makes perfect: Use your long weekends and sim days to test what works.

• Don’t fix what isn’t broken: If you’ve had a good experience with a certain approach, don’t feel the need to reinvent the wheel.

• You are a fluffy unicorn, or our case a fluffy Sneer: What works for your training buddy might not work for you and that’s okay. 

Final Thought

In our group, we’ve got everyone from Ultra runners to 5K plodders. Some of us drink PH60 carb mix, others swear by a beer at the aid station. Some go full-time athlete mode, others fit it in between kids clubs and family time. And still, we all find a way to train and race - in our own way. The Sneers way.

So next time you see a carb load plan promising “elite-level energy,” just remember: if you’re forcing bagels down your neck while Googling “how much rice is too much rice,” it might be time to back off and trust your gut — literally.